Alright Moms- it’s not Mother’s Day and thank goodness Christmas is ten months away, so you might be wondering why I’m discussing ideas for what Moms want. Well, the release of Taraji P. Henson’s new movie, “What Men Want,” got me to thinking. I can’t wait to see the new movie because I enjoyed the 2000 version where Braveheart himself shaved his legs and had a full on spa night to feel connected to his teenage daughter and try to better understand women after he could hear their thoughts. I am bracing myself for what antics Ms. Henson’s character encounters after she can hear what men are thinking. But in the meantime, before anyone can spoil the movie for me, I’ll just think about what Moms want in the form of a quick list! Keep in mind I DO NOT ever want to hear my child’s thoughts…EVER! Especially now that we’ve had a real deal talk with him about “S-E-X” as he calls it. Plus, I don’t want to have to pluck him every time I’m hear his reactions to my correction. I just want to try and get inside of the minds of some moms out there who may be thinking the way I’m thinking. So, here goes!
- Moms want PRIVACY- I’ll preface this point by saying if you are a single parent, this may present additional challenges for you, so I’m sending you an air hug right now. For those of us in a house with more than one adult (and one of those adults is the parent), it would be great to have uninterrupted time to do the following: brush our teeth, shower or take a bath and pee alone…without anyone coming in to ask a question. I can never understand why Tre will bypass the hubs to ask me a question or tell me his thought when I’m having a private moment. It can wait! I don’t know about you, but Tre waited until last year to start doing this. He spoiled me for 5 good years with privacy and now it’s over. I want it back!
- Moms want to say what they’ve got to say 1 good time. Perfect example: As I’m writing this, I look up and see that it’s 8:30. “Tre it’s bedtime.” “But I have 1 more episode [of the lovely cartoon featuring the yellow talking sponge].” I look back at the clock and count quickly to 3 and say it again. This time, he reluctantly says, “Ok.” I’ve frequently told Tre that listening and following directions the first time can save his life! Sometimes it is as though he wasn’t listening at all and was only waiting for me to take a breath so that he could cut in with a statement that proved he wasn’t listening. Then I have to say it all over again. Just listen the first time dude!
- Moms want to hear whine-free talk. No, that wasn’t a typo. I meant to write w-h-i-n-e and not w-i-n-e. It is literally like nails on a chalkboard when I hear Tre whine about doing things he does every day. Waking up for school= whining. Get dressed= whining. No sketching during breakfast because we’re going to be late= whining. You get the point. I know I’m not alone. My own Mom can tell stories about me whining [and talking back], how she couldn’t stand it and some of the consequences I got in return. So the next time your kids start to whine, do what I do and ask them if they want some cheese with that w[h]ine and laugh…or put your headphones in and ignore them for a moment.
Reading this list makes me laugh because I can just picture some of my mom friends and what their thought bubbles would be when their kids bust into the bathroom or when they have to listen to them whine about a redirection. Now those are the thoughts our kids really don’t want to hear. We grin and bear it, smile on the outside and use gentle appropriate tones because the alternative is not always so child-friendly.
In a ‘perfect world’ if Moms got what they really wanted, there probably wouldn’t be an interrupted shower, whining or the need to repeat ourselves. But, that would be a pretty boring world, right? Let’s face it-some of these situations make for funny stories. I know there will come a day when Tre won’t do all of these things in the same way, because at some point he’ll be on his own. For now I’ll answer questions through my pocket door when I steal away for a chance to use the bathroom (aka- time on my phone until my leg falls asleep). And I’ll tell him in a calm tone for the 4th time that it’s time to wake up when he sleeps through his blaring alarm clock. And I’ll pretend he is doing an award-winning impersonation of a whining child when he’s redirected. Yup, that’s exactly what I’ll do. So here’s to hoping the Moms get what they really want. –krystal