I don’t know when this happens for other parents, but it has happened to me…my baby isn’t a baby anymore. ? And to top it off he told me so and does not have a problem reminding me of the fact that he is “a big boy.” In a little over a month he will be 5 and while I’m not trying to take him back to onesie and diaper days, there are things I miss from just a couple of years ago that every so often I want to relive. Especially the days when he didn’t talk or have an opinion and just laid there like a little toy baby! Even in the picture below I literally had to pin him down for a kiss…geesh!
When I’ve heard other parents reminisce about the days when their kids were smaller there would be a little glimmer in their eyes and I would think, “Ok…get over it…they are going to grow up…they’re not going to be [insert age] forever.” But now that I am beginning to experience my kid moving into another phase of his development- I get it. I get how you look at pictures and take a 10-minute mind trip back to that moment and get caught up in what was happening that day…the smells…sounds…and feel of the moment. I get how it’s hard to part with items from their younger years. I get how you look at them and sometimes wish for them to revert back to a certain age just for a little bit. I’m there right along with those parents and the funny part is that I didn’t think I would be there or have these feelings. But I do and I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling this way.
For those wondering- let me remind you that I am content with one kid! No offense to those that have multiples- more power to you. I am just caught up in a little moment. Reread “Yes, we only have one child” in case you’ve forgotten! Just like I said in that post there are times I look at a cutely put together mom with a perfect little baby bump and I get a little nostalgic. Then it all goes away when I begin to think about having to clothe, feed, pay for and nurture the little thing. Whew!
For the record, I totally welcome the independence that comes with Tre’s new phase. The hubs and I think it’s great. He has sort of moved past the, “Mommy, I can do it” talk to more of a “Let me show you what I can do…I can do this all by myself” way of operating and we let him show us. From being able to handle all of his bathroom business (brushing teeth, flossing!, washing face and showering), to selecting clothes, getting dressed and everything in between. Now that he can read he can pretty much do just about anything…within reason!
His little personality is beginning to shape and we can get glimpses of what and who he will become. I am paying attention to a few recurring themes in this Pre-K/Kindergarten phase that I am sure some larger lessons will develop from, so here they are:
Exposure is everything- If you don’t know then you don’t know, right? The same is true for kids. One promise I made to myself was to allow him Tre to try different things and see what he liked best. This goes for toys and games, foods, activities, etc. Since he’s not a baby and he’s growing up, I have to allow his creative juices to flow and lead him (a little!).
What we say has an impact- A statement we repeat to Tre, that can fit so many different situations, is “Remember who you are.” The reality is that he spends more time in a given day with adults and kids at school who may not have the same family structure and/or values we do so it is critical for him to always remember who and what he is. Our words and statements we make to him matter. Even when I get frustrated with him I do my best to pause and be mindful that he is a kid and what he hears from him mom and dad have a lasting impact. I don’t know about your kid(s), but mine has a memory like an elephant and he will not hesitate to remind me what I said…good or bad…right or wrong and how it made him feel.
He’ll get it one day or another- While the frontal lobes ARE NOT even close to being formed, he has quite a bit of time to experience life’s trial and error moments to make the best choices. So when those lobes are developed we’ll be able to talk about the things he did growing up and how they probably made no sense to me, but fit in perfectly with his vision. So again, my job is to help guide him along the way so he can, hopefully, make the best choices.
Watching and listening to Tre develop has me excited, and a bit anxious (in a good way) about his future. I know my kid does a lot of typical ‘kid stuff,’ but I like to think he’s a little extraordinary. I will definitely miss the baby days, but I have a lifetime of memories to conjure up when I’m feeling nostalgic…especially since I have parted with special clothing items from his infancy…yes, I got rid of them ????. So peace to the baby he was and cheers to the young little man he is becoming! –krystal