Get your own life- please!

Ok.  I am going to make this a brief one that should only take about 2-3 minutes to read.  So let me get to the point.  It has become apparent to me that some parents totally immerse themselves in their children’s lives leaving them with no life of their own.  So in the words of the hilarious Tamar Braxton- “Get your life!”  And I’ll add my own spin on it; get your own life…please!

The tagline to my blog is,”[A 30-something mom]…navigating motherhood, being a wife, my own life & finding balance.”  I really mean that; that I work daily to find balance between all of the ‘hats’ I wear knowing that each of those ‘hats’ is important.  A few of my friends and I have joked that we must be different kind of 30-something year old moms because our own lives are equally, if not at times, more important than the lives of our kids, spouses, co-workers, family members, etc.

It is so easy to get caught up in the demands of running a household, raising children, maintaining a successful marriage, working for someone else or running a business, that you forget about yourself.  Yes, YOU.  I’ve heard mothers and fathers talk about feeling guilty for taking time for themselves and while I am a pretty empathetic person by nature, I feel for them a little bit.  You matter.  Find something you like to do and do it dammit!  A few weeks ago I wrote about how Zumba is a stress reliever for me and I make it a priority to go 2-3 times a week…sometimes with the kid.  Stress Relief- Break it…Pop it…Drop it…Do something!  Bottom line- I HAVE to put me first sometimes for my own sanity.  And it doesn’t stop with Zumba.  I make time to spend time with my friends at the spa or dinner, I go away on a yearly girls trip in the summer, or I might just go for a drive and take myself to dinner if that’s what I feel like Krystal needs.  My ‘me time’ didn’t end when Tre was born.  As a matter of fact it ramped up a little.  I took a trip with friends when he was 5-months

2012- Sorry for the haze…it was a humid Miami night on this trip!
old and I know some people thought I was crazy to leave my new baby and enjoy several days of fun in the sun, drinks in hand, and the ability to sleep in…but I wasn’t crazy and guess what?  Tre survived!  See my smile in that picture??  I was having a ball!  The demands of being a 1st time mom are real and I knew that the couple of days I was away were going to put my mind and emotions back in order to be better for my son and husband when I got back.  We are a 2-parent household and the hubs is more than qualified to hold the fort down.  No, he might not do things the exact same way me, but they get done, the kid is safe, well cared for, fed, clothed, etc.

I feel pretty confident in telling you this-  my kid (and yours for that matter) will be fine if you make time to create balance and include yourself in the equation.  Please understand that I am NOT advocating acting like you don’t have responsibilities.  I am pushing for moms to take better care of themselves and realize that it is ok to still have a life outside of your child’s.  And it is ok to enjoy that life.  It is ok to make yourself a priority.  Your family will thank you for it later.

Now go out and do something for you.  You better GET YOUR LIFE because I’m off to make myself a priority for a few moments before I have to put my mommy hat back on!  –krystal

2014- In the middle of a Puerto Rican rainforest on my annual girls trip.


  1. Dejah D Reed says:


  2. Dejah D Reed says:

    Good Read

  3. Anonymous says:

    I don’t have children either but I truly believe in putting yourself first. This was excellent well written and I will share with others. Especially my friends that are new moms that get caught up with being a mom first. Thanks for the article have a great weekend

    1. atwmcom says:

      Thank you for taking the time to read. Yes- please share this with your friends and others. Take a look at that other posts when you get a chance! Thanks again.

  4. Sharise says:

    You are so right about this, and I don’t even have kids!! Lol I love reading your blogs and I’m super proud of you

    1. atwmcom says:

      Hey! Me time is soooo important- kids or not. Plus, you work with them all day so you get it! Thanks for the support!

  5. Danielle Shanks says:

    I so agree that your “you time” should ramp up in a sense when you add the mommy hat. A better ME means a better MOM which equals a GREAT KID.!

    1. atwmcom says:

      🙌🏾 If mommy ain’t happy nobody is (broken English and all)!

  6. James Lampkin says:

    Great read!! I tell my wife all the time, make sure you get your time, cause I’m getting mine!! We not single!! My daughter needs that time to bond with me while my wife does her thing! My outlet is sports. I don’t drink or smoke, I watch sports to relax. Usually once a month I get together with the fellas to watch boxing, UFC, or something. I need to for my personal sanity!!

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