I’m not quite who I thought I would be

After getting married I started to think more about what kind of mother I would be.  All of the pressure to have a baby right after we said “I Do” was intense, so my mind would wonder off into thinking about what kind of mom I would be.  Would I require people to lather up in hand sanitizer before holding my baby like the lady in the commercial?  Would I make homemade applesauce and be all organic everything?  Would I automatically reach for the belt when he misbehaved?  I really didn’t know what kind of mom I would be.  I had visions of modeling myself after family and close friends, but I still didn’t have a clear picture of how what I would do day-to-day or what my relationship with my son would be.

Well, I am happy to say that I am less of what I thought I would be and more of what I had hr-1379-982-952--1379982952007no idea I would even entertain!  For instance, I am the ‘5-second rule’ mom- he’s got a short amount of time to get that goldfish cracker or grape or [fill in the blank food item] off of the floor before we both deem it trash!  Don’t cringe…you know you do it sometimes too!  I am the talk about everything mom…yes, I know he’s 4…but we still talk about it all; from what he can do instead of whining, to who did what during school, to what it means to show kindness to others and a whole lot more that I’ll be writing about sooner than later.  I did not imagine I would be engaged in deep- and sometimes never-ending- conversation with a toddler!  I am the ‘pillow talk,’ occasional dance break and make up our own fairytale complete with page turning noises before bedtime mom!  I am the “Let’s go on an adventure today” mom along with the “It’s time to do your homework now” mom.  I guess I can be summed up as the work hard = play hard type of mom.  My current profession allows me to work with students in a school each day and I see the importance of kids needing to have balance and boundaries and fun at home and I want to provide that for Tre.  I like the mother I am and I realize that my style will morph as he gets older and even more savvy.  Hearing the stories of my sister, sis-in-law and close friends who have older children has helped me anticipate what I will probably experience as he gets older.  I’m going to be time enough for him when he gets to be a pre-teen and teenager…thanks to my circle of Super Moms!

With today being Mother’s Day it causes me to be more reflective about the sacrifices of

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My 1st Mother’s Day with my mom

those women who are mothers and those who have mothering spirits.  I think about my mother and what kind of mother she thought she was going to be compared to the mother my sister and I knew growing up and the mother we know now.  Life will through some pretty interesting curve balls that- as a mother- you have to duck, dodge, catch, and even throw back.  How do you weather the storm?  What do you do when those curve balls come?  Shouts out to those women doing it every day and Make It Work in the infamous words of Tim Gunn.  It goes without saying that to carry a child is an accomplishment within itself.  Then to birth that being into the world is another monumental task.  Now onto raising that boy or girl amidst all of society’s challenges is worthy of several cookies/medals/winning lottery tickets/and more.  I have been blessed to have a mother who raised me well in a loving, caring, warm environment. 

hr-1156-877-957--1156877957007 I knew that I could always count on my mother to support me even when I didn’t know I needed support.  Thank you mom!  Now that I am somebody’s mama, I can credit my mothering style to that of my mother, sister, grandmother, friends, mother-in-love, sister-in-love, aunts, cousins and countless other women.  I carry a piece of them with me everyday and they influence my daily interaction with my son.  Of course we all say that we either want to be the type of parent our parent wasn’t and/or propel ourselves further than they did.  The more I think about it- I don’t feel either of those ways.  I want to be myself and parent Tre the way I/we think he needs to be parented.  

Who did you think you were going to be before you became a mother?  Do your images of your former self match who you are now?  Share some of your thoughts with me in the comments.  Oh and to answer the questions- I did not make people slather down in hand sanitizer…I believe a some germs are good for kids!  It helps build up their immunity.  I do go organic with some things and try to make as much ‘real food’ for him as possible.  And as for the belt…I don’t reach for the belt, but I do he does get a few taps on the legs, butt and/or lips when needed.–krystal 

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Happy Mother’s Day from us to you!

9 Comments

  1. klockw1 says:

    I think all Mothers can relate to this one. And I’m glad you didn’t fall into the zap all germs trap with the hand sanitizer, etc because everyone who knows me expected me too…and of course I did, but only in the earlier days. I haven’t quite gotten comfy with the 8 second rule but I’m more normal in his 3 year old days. I must say that my Mother is a Super Mom that I can’t even begin to compare myself with, so I feel the same way you do about being yourself and the mother that makes you. I will say that I thought teaching my son academics at home has been way more challenging than I imagined…that is one thing I thought I would be better at as a Mom…the struggle is real. Other than that, I am exactly the kind of fun-loving, no nonsense, adventurous, totally in love and nurturing type of Mommy. Btw, he’s sleeping in my bed and kicking my back…I just knew I would be the kind of Mom who didn’t put up with that! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Danielle R Shanks says:

    Krystal you’re a lot like I pictured you would be…patient and loving. This blog is great and I’m excited that I get to see other sides of you cuz they are all pretty phenomenal!
    I thought I’d be the Mary Poppins mom. Whyyyyyyyyyyy? I wanted to be the opposite of my own mother. I thought she was overbearing ….too focused on academics and what others thought…too cautious..just PRESSED alllll around. I’ve learned we’re the same in so many ways. I always care about what others think of my son. A colleague told me once that she felt her job as a mother was to make her son lovable so that when she was gone she knew someone would love him like she did. That’s what my mom wanted and what i want. So I care how he presents himself. I care about his academics because I want him to be a good partner and able provider. I’m in his business because HE IS MY business. I am the same fierce and passionate mother that MY mother was.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. atwmcom says:

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your perspective and approach to motherhood is pretty awesome. You’re right- he is your business b/c if he’s not he’ll be somebody else’s. Keep on keeping on b/c I continue to learn so much from you each day. 😘

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  3. geetanjali says:

    Moms are the best! What would we do without them!

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    1. atwmcom says:

      Exactly! Thank you for commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Monique D says:

    Coming into your own ‘mom- idenity’ is quite a challenge. Your blog is great and I can’t wait to read more!

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    1. atwmcom says:

      Thank you Monique! Keep reading to see how I’m continuing to come into my own.

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  5. Gina says:

    Krystal,

    Although I’m not a mom, I’m truly loving your blog. What an awesome idea! Thanks for sharing so much of yourself! It truly is heartwarming. Tre is a lucky little man. Kudos!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. atwmcom says:

      Gina- Thank you!!! While these writings help to chronicle his life and our experiences, it helps me more! Stay tuned for what comes next!

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